I'm Back

Yes, I got lazy and stopped writing. I'm not even all that busy, lol. But I definitely have tons of stories every shift and I kept meaning to write them down and would just . . . not do it. :( So forgive me!!

Let's see what all has happened since October (the last time I posted). I moved out of my parents place and moved into a small house with Tara, my best friend here and a co-worker. The house is right down the street from my parents, so I can still go over there all the time (which is good because I'm super close with my parents). Tara and I get along really well and we carpool to work when we can.

J and I are still talking pretty much everyday. We're in a limbo right now on us dating because he doesn't want to be serious while overseas and wants to do all that romantic stuff (asking me out, etc) in person. I agree because I want to see him before confirming everything, if that makes sense. But we're doing good.

I started bartending. My first night alone was New Years Eve and I made about 220 dollars that night. I love bartending. I never understood what Tara meant when she said that you really learn a lot about who you work with and the people who come in and dine with us since you can stand back and watch everything sometimes. And I do. I learn who is an excellent worker, who really could care less about being there, what customers are really nice and which ones are just . . . ew.

Alright, one story before I stop for the night. Last night I was bartending and there was a guy at the bar who was completely wasted. I'm talking drunker than anything. I asked my manager to please cut him off, which he did. I looked away for a few minutes and the next thing I know, the guy is gone. He walked out on his tab. I really hope he had a ride or something because he refused my calling him a cab and said a friend was going to be up to get him later. I was just very grrrrr about the situation.

Ahhh yes. It feels good to be back.

What a weekend!!

Woah! Maaajjjooorrr updates and stories in this entry. Sorry I've been lacking in the blog department :)

I was out of town last week with Jessica, a girl from work. We drove to the beach and hung out, went to the aquarium, went clubbing, and had lots and lots of drinks :) Of course, my last night there was fun except toward the end. On the car ride home, one of the guys slapped Jessica. She laughed it off and moved on. Then the guy turns and slaps me. Ummmm, no. I lunged across the car and slapped and punched him until he let up. Kinda ruined my night, but I got over it pretty quickly. After all, I had to get to bed at a decent hour to make the drive home.

Saturday night at work was amazing though. I received first pick, so I chose one of our best sections. One table said I was the best server of any restaurant they had ever been to. My reward? An item of my choosing from the merchandise store. I chose a shirt I've had my eye on for a while now. It's white with the letters 'LOVE' arranged in a giant block (if that makes sense) and in pink. I was so incredibly happy. Also, one of the guys at the table actually lived down the street from me back in Tampa. How crazy is that?? It was a really good night.

Sunday was boring, like always. The Panthers had a bye week, so naturally not many people came in to watch the games. I sat with some Chicago Bears fans and we were pretty disappointed they lost. :( Oh well, maybe next time. I did have a guy come in though, sit in one of my booths and order a water. Nothing else. Sat there for four hours and when his game was over, got up and left. Suffice to say, I was pretty peeved. Couldn't he have sat at the bar if that's what he was here for? This just seals it for me though; I am going to try my hardest not to work Sunday mornings again. The table turnover is nil and I just don't make the money that I would any other day of the week

I picked out my costume for Halloween. All I need to do is find some white flats to wear since I refuse to wear heels all day. Here's a pic of it.


Oh! And I sold my first calendar! Hooters has this thing going where they will send a calendar to our troops overseas in Iraq and Afghanistan if you buy one and write a little note on a sticker for them. Yayyyy!! I'm going to probably buy a few and send them over. :)

Speaking of troops, finally got to talk to J yesterday. He had been away for the past three days and I started to get worried. It was 11:11 yesterday morning and I told him to make a wish (I've always made wishes on 11:11 and make sure he does so too). I told him cookies and cupcakes don't count since he always wishes for that. So he kept badgering and asking what my wish was and seemed a little upset I wouldn't tell him (HELLO! Wishes don't come true if you tell!!). But I relented and told him. . . . sooooo we'll see lol.

That is the quick and dirty of what's been going on for the past week. I work a lot this week, so I'm sure there will be plenty of stories later.

I work a double tomorrow (Wednesday), Sunday, and I work Friday night. I'm pretty stoked, especially because it means that I got four days off this week. We'll see how well this does for my income.

I worked doubles on Saturday and Sunday this past week, not scheduled. I was very happy-go-lucky and ready to go until about 4 or 5pm on Sunday. I don't know why, but my attitude completely did a 180. I went from being very happy to downright angry at everything and everyone. It didn't help the fact that a regular who comes in all the time sat in my section. This guy thinks his shit doesn't stink. Whatever, that's who he is. So after a while his all-knowing attitude really gets to me and I just walk away.

Finally it all came to a boil when a girl makes coffee and walks away to do other work. Somehow, the coffee fell off the wait station and burned my leg; not too bad, but just enough to hurt me. So I just started to cry. Haha, typical of me. I went to the back to redo my makeup (with the help of some of my lovely girls <3) and I was back to my happy self. . . . probably helped that we were completely dead Sunday night. I have the Jets/Dolphins game to thank for that. :)

Oh! And I finally got bangs!! Everyone at work has them and I've been dying to get them for forever but I was too chicken. Well, they're not exactly how I wanted them done, but they work for now. I will post a pic sometime soon.

So, there's also the Jonathan situation. Sunday afternoon I went to check my phone and I see a skype notification and a new email. Well there are only a handful of people that skype me lately, and I can safely eliminate about half of them. So I open it and it's from Jonathan. He had emailed me because he thought I was ignoring him. So anyway, we talked later that night (or technically morning) and we've talked everyday since. Today we talked about our breakup and everything that has happened. I'll save that convo for another day because it was definitely a long convo.

I've gotta go finish some homework. I'm praying that Thursday I'll be out and about with a girl from work. I haven't gone out since I've moved here. Woohoo!!

It was worth it in the end

I've gotta make this a quick post because I need to finish up my homework. I work tomorrow night, Saturday night, and Sunday afternoon (helloooooo NFL!!). I've had the past two days off which is amazing! I went and blew all of my money yesterday on duct tape for my server's book, Bare Minerals face makeup, sushi for lunch, a new haircut, patches for my jeans, aaaaannnnddd I think that's it. Oh! I got inserts for my bra but they don't work so I'm taking them back. I'll just wear two bras to work.

My big reason for updating?? Guess who emailed me this afternoon. Jonathan. His email was pretty short but it talked about how he's been hearing how I've been doing through his grandmother (who is my facebook friend. I love her!). He said he has been scared to write the email for some time and he wants to hear from me. I don't know what to feel. I feel angry that he waited this long to write me and apologize. I'm sad that everything we've ever worked for between us had fallen apart and I'm left with nothing but a huge hole in my heart that I work everyday to fix. I want to not write back and put him through the hell I went though, but I still want to be his friend and be there for him.

I am so incredibly happy he wrote me though. Nothing but a friendship will happen from this. I won't let anything else happen otherwise. I'll give it a day or so and write back afterwards.

Gives You Hell

Yesterday was a weird day for me, all the way up until I fell asleep at night. I kept wondering why the hell my ex cheated on me. What could I have done different to prevent this? What does she have that I don't? Is she prettier? Smarter? More loving? Is she funnier? I could not escape these questions and emotions and it just brought a wave of blah-ness over me. I kept thinking of our relationship and how happy I thought we were (even in our bad times we were still good). I don't know why I kept thinking about this because it's not like I cried over it or stayed in bed all day. I just had that gross feeling that I couldn't get past.

I thought of how, when we were breaking up, how he asked (almost begged) me to write him while he was deployed and how he would see where I was when he returned. I mean, I don't even know if he was being honest about his deployment. He told me he still loved me but I don't know if I believe that. How am I going to ever trust a guy again when I've been screwed over like this?

It's not the first time I've been cheated on either. My very first relationship (my first everything) I was cheated on. The guy played World of Warcraft and met a girl in California. They called and sent pictures of each other every night. The night we broke up, she flew out a few days later and I found out they had sex. That seriously hurt me. It made me feel worthless, like I wasn't even good enough for my boyfriend to love me.

I feel so much better today though. I woke up and shrugged it off. If she makes him happy, then I'm happy for them. I still wish karma would bite them in the ass. And I hope he wishes the same for me. The future holds a lot for the both of us I guess.

In happier news!! I'm gearing up for my party on Sunday. My mom's helping me out. We're having BBQ pulled pork, pasta salad, brownies, chips, veggies, and lots and lots of drinks :-D I'm making jello shots because I've never had them before. I'm so excited to see my friends one last time before I leave on the 14th. I'd love to construct some sort of beer pong table, but I might just get something from Spencers. They have cool party stuff that would entertain my friends.

Woohoo!! And I will be sure to post pics here too :-)

I hate to break it to you baby, but I'm not drowning

I always have the strangest dreams. They vary from night to night, but last night was one of my stranger ones. I had a dream that I ran into my ex with his new girlfriend. My ex was freaking out and trying to figure out an excuse to get out of introducing us to each other. His girlfriend was so happy to meet me and in my dream I wanted to actually be her friend. She told me about the wedding they were planning (in a not-making-me-jealous way) and told me the reason why my ex didn't deploy was because he wanted to stay home and make a life for them (yeah, because in real life, the Army just lets you stay home whenever you want).

I told her that I wished she was ugly or fat or something because I didn't WANT to like her and be her friend and she said she wished the same for me. All the while my ex is hanging around all uncomfortable with the situation. I think I woke up shortly after that.

So, I dunno. We'll see what all that means. I woke up feeling a lot better though, so maybe it was a good thing!