Every Mile A Memory

I've never been much of a sleeper, and it's really only been recently that I've been able to even fall asleep. Tonight I have so much running through my head and I'm starting to get a sick feeling in my stomach, so I thought I'd turn here.

I leave for NC on Saturday. THIS SATURDAY. I was completely fine with moving all the way up until now. Don't get me wrong, I'm still excited, but now I'm extremely nervous. I'm leaving my friends, some whom I've known most of my life, and I'm leaving my sister. My mom will be up in NC in Octoberish, but my sister's staying here because she has an amazing job, and she has her own apartment with her boyfriend, so moving is out of the question. I'm scared to leave everything behind. I know I'm going to make some more amazing friends, but it's still nervewracking. I'll love NC, but it's just the fact I'm leaving everything I've ever known behind that's making me all icky inside.

Plus, it'll really show who my TRUE friends are. I have had this going away party planned for a month and it's tomorrow. I actually let one of my friends know a few days before I posted the event on facebook and she promised she would come (she was the one who introduced me to my ex and we were best friends for quite some time. She road tripped with me to Texas to meet up with him and her boyfriend when they returned from Iraq). Welllllll fast forward to this week. I text her a few times, asking whether she was coming because I really needed to know and I was hoping to see her before I leave for good. She writes me tonight "Sorry I won't be able to make it. Chris surprised me with a weekend in #@@!(#(!. I'll miss you though!" Wait what?? You knew about this for a month. I said you could have brought him, so this means you probably didn't even mention wanting to go. You knew I've been trying to get in touch with you all week. I know you keep your phone on you and you constantly bitch about your boyfriend and how much you can't stand him and want to leave him for a guy you met on W.O.W. THIS shows me that you really don't have any feelings whether I'm leaving or not. Whatever, like I said, this just shows who my friends are and who they aren't. . . . or something like that?

Alright, I'm going to TRY and go to bed again. I feel like I want to throw up because I'm so nervous, but hopefully it'll be daylight soon and I won't have to worry about sleeping lol. Yay party!!

P.S. I know this is supposed to be about me looking for love, but I haven't even had time for myself this past week. lol, I promise once I move this will turn more toward that :-)